Wearing Thin

I write a lot late and night and write things that make no sense in the morning hours but the words still manage to rip out my heart with every letter I see. This is just one more piece of the broken heart that beats in my chest forcing me through each day. God I'm miserable sometimes but I do feel happy. But Happiness is not something that is common to me by my nature i seek to make things hard for myself and feel everything through other people. Its just how I am. I wish there was anyone who would accept that just as it is.


Its here that life tugs at the heart strings
Those things we like to rely on
The things we depend on
The ones we can not exist without
Feelings
Material objects
Desire
Fate
The purity of the fools
Ignorance is the truest form of failure
Until the war came
Then the world became a place
Of despair
Of heartache
Where one hurts and cheats
For their own personal gain
Not for the good of the people
But for the good of their
Own
Bloody tearful satisfaction
We ignore that which we love
To try and hid how much it hurts us to lose it
Giving up the things we love
Giving away the things that matter most
We do it with a smile
A frown
Tears down our cheeks
But we give away still
We feel compelled to
There is no reason to keep everything
No one keeps everything
It all needs to go away
Go to other people
Go to those who need it
Always helping the needy
But who says they are needy
By what standards do we judge
It seems so wrong to think less of others
Before they have even told you they are less then you
Just because money is tight
There’s not more food then one can handle
The clothes are well worn
But still cared for and loved
The times have changed
Old is new
Vintage is sexy
New is okay but still
Looking for something old to change and make you
That makes you better
Reusing the things you have
Taking scissors thread and time
To change a simple dress
Into the most amazing shirt ever
Takes guts
Takes a real mind
Creativity
Tugs at the heart strings of people
You can have no money
And be the coolest thing alive
You can have all the money
And be the coolest thing alive
Its all a matter of how you act
When you ignore people
When you hold people
It happens
Well this is terrible
A terrible excuse for what I am thinking
I’m trying to talk about how things are
How they can change and take new forms
Oh and how we all do things to hurt people
But we don’t mean to
And then there is the money thing
That’s a big deal with life
Money has become everything and I’m trying to talk about it
You know what I mean
Or maybe you don’t
I don’t know you
I have no idea why you are reading this
Maybe something connects with you
I really hope it does
I want to connect
I want you try and make you feel like a real person
Like not one in a million
But like one special person who someone can actually relate to
I have so many sides
We all do
That I am trying to write from all of them
But you see
The vodka
And the cutting
The tears
The fears
All get in the way
They ruin it all
For everyone around
Because we all hurt everything
Nothing can be the same
We need things to be the same however
We need it to work out
One step
Two steps
Same
Same
Over and over
BUT WHO CARES!
We all say nothing matters
We can get by
But can we really?
NO
We can’t
We need structure
Class
Hierarchy
Because we would fall other wise
Or at least fall faster
And it ends
Sleep time